So the last article was about gophers vs. hair-on-fire, and how they do (or don’t) ask for help. In it, I alluded to coaching people on HOW to ask for help – and that’s what this article’s going to be about.

First, before you ask for help, you need a problem. I recommend against asking for help when you don’t have problems – in fact, it’s a good way to get fired.

I’m not going to go over basic problem solving, like sizing problems, effective searches, and the like. That’s perhaps a different article for a different day; if you’re interested, let me know. Today’s article is how to ask for help.

So, assuming you’ve hit a wall, and assuming you’ve invested a reasonable amount of effort to get over it, the right thing to do is to go to someone that you think can help. When you do, say the following three things:

1. This is what I’ve done: …
2. This is what I plan to do next: …
3. Am I on the right track?

If you say those three things, in that order, it tells people:

1. You’ve thought about the problem, and
2. You have a plan (maybe not the BEST plan, but A plan), and
3. You’re open to feedback if it’s not the most effective or efficient one.

The key to this problem-solving technique is that it lets them help you with the meta-problem of how to solve problems, rather than asking them to solve the specific problem for you. This is the best possible outcome for the long-term: you expand your library of resources, you learn new things, and (hopefully) you can solve the next problem on your own.

So you’ve gone to someone, used the three lines, and asked for help. Their possible responses are:

(1) Yeah, you’re on the right track, go for it! – this is great! Congratulations! And if you’re the type of person who leans towards the hair-on-fire approach to problem solving, this question and response shows that you’ve done the leg work, and they can tell that you’re approaching problems in a reasonable way. It’s much less annoying to them, and much better for you in the long run.

(2) No, the wiki’s wrong, the answer’s actually over there… – this is also great! You’ve short-circuited the issue, and you’re on the right track quickly. You also learned about a new source of information, which will be useful in the future. If you’re the type of person that leans towards the gopher approach to problem solving, this means that rather than wasting an hour on your (bad) plan, you have an answer in seconds. Oh, and if you can fix the wiki, that means the next newbie’s not going to have the same problem you did, so probably do that too…

(3) I don’t know, but person X knows more about it. – also great! You’ve found something out about the team, and the people on it. Next time, you’re short-circuiting the problem again and can approach the right person the first time. Go find them, use the same three lines, and lather, rinse, repeat until you’ve made progress. Don’t forget to update your library (and the wiki)!

(4) I don’t know, that’s a good question! – the best! You both get to learn the right answer! This is the best possible response, because you’ve found an interesting and difficult problem, and you’re probably going to make the team, the org, and the company better by solving it.

I’ve used this pattern – this is what I’ve done, this is what I plan to do next, am I on the right track – at every stage of my career. It’s the most useful approach I’ve found to not only solving the immediate problem, but also getting better at the meta-problem of problem solving. The best leaders (and the best employees) are the ones that are good at the meta-problem, because it makes every problem easier.